As we dive headfirst into the holiday season, I’m reminded how much we have to be grateful for. Cliche, yes. But this time of year will always hold a strange dichotomy between joyfulness and sadness.

Nine years ago, on Thanksgiving, we were feeling wonderful about the twins’ prognosis and overjoyed that Sam had seemed to pass all the major hiccups associated with Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC). But just two days later, we got a phone call that brought us to our knees. It changed everything for our sweet boy, and I still can’t get through the Saturday after Thanksgiving without crying.

The Boy Who Lived… it’s what we call Sam and it’s what we focus on now. It’s easy to feel resentment and sadness when I think about all of the things he experienced and will experience in the years to come. I will update more in my next post, but we have some big appointments and big decisions coming up. But the main thing we try to focus on is how grateful we are to modern medicine, antibiotics, and being too stubborn to ever give up on our kids.

Just last year, on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, Adam, Claire and I left for yet another life changing medical journey. It felt surreal to have it be the same time of year as all of Sam’s stuff, and I would give anything to never feel that way again.

Never have I ever been so grateful for the medical world. They quite literally fixed my baby girl’s broken heart. We still have a few unanswered questions and it seems likely she will need another open heart surgery in a few years. But I will continue to hold onto the fact that for now, she is healed.

This year we celebrated Thanksgiving with family, a snowstorm, and lots of movies and cuddles. Also lots of fights. But let’s focus on the cuddles. #boymom