1. Do not have your husband be post-call.

2. Do not have your 11-month-old home. Send him away for the weekend (preferably a week).

3. Do not have your husband be post-call (did I mention that already?).

4. If you have a tube-fed child, do not be surprised that he pees EVERY 5 MINUTES. Literally.

5. Do not cook. Order in, throw food in the oven, but do not cook. Even cereal takes too much time.

6. Do not let your 11-month-old into the bathroom. While you’re excitedly screaming that your child just peed, he will dump over an entire gallon of laundry detergent.

7. Do not put more than 1 detergent-soaked rag into the washer. If you put even 2, suds will leak all over your bathroom floor.

8. Do not have your post-call husband start the bath. He will forget about it and water will overflow.

9. Do not put brand new shoes on your child (especially if they’re too big). He will inevitably fall over, skin his knee, and FLIP OUT. The REST of the day.

10. Do not turn your back for even two seconds, or your 11-month-old will flip over the toilet filled with fresh pee from your toddler because you are so happy you don’t even realize your baby was right behind you.

And that, my friends, is what NOT to do. Learn from the StibbeFam.

*Yesterday’s results:

• Sam: 12+ accidents, 2 pottys (this kid pees all the freaking time…his tube fed diet makes him incredibly hydrated)
• Jack: 3 accidents, 3 pottys (he definitely knew something was up…it took him forever to pee for the first time)
• NO POOPS

*We’ve also decided that we are going to continue with just Jack for right now. Sam just isn’t able to handle it. His nutrition is too important so we obviously aren’t going to modify that just to get him potty trained. He’s also terrified of the potty, so that creates a little hurdle… We will keep putting Sam on the potty (when it’s convenient), but he will wear diapers all day.

*I’ve also decided that training pants are stupid. Jack doesn’t care if he wets his training pants, because they absorb. When he has an accident in regular underwear, he freaks out and yells “Potty!” He was super good today and actually started going, told us he was going, and finished in the potty. (I am FAR from counting this a successful morning…. we are on day 2 and I’m pretty sure we have another few days until he’s truly grasped the concept)