And I mean… EVERYWHERE.
I’m blogging about this story simply because I don’t want to forget about it, and I can now laugh at it!

Here’s this afternoon in a nutshell:

Eli and I are relaxing after his afternoon bottle and its definitely time to change his diaper. This kid HATES having his diaper changed, so I wait until he’s completely wet to change it. I take off his diaper, and as per usual, he screams, crawl-sprints away from me, and I think uhh, whatever!

I hear the twins wake up, and somehow my Mommy Brain forgets that Eli has no diaper on. I go upstairs, grab the twins, and the 3 of us walk downstairs.

I see Eli smacking his lips and think “Crap! What is he eating!?” Then I see Mya licking the floor. Then I see poop. All over Eli. All over the floor. All over Eli’s hands, feet, clothes. All over his music table. And EATING it. OH MY GOD. MY SON ATE HIS OWN POOP.

The kid had been crawling in his own poop. It was up his back, in his hair, in all his adorable fat rolls.

Have I mentioned we had an appointment that we needed to leave for in 10 minutes?!

When Sam and Jack heard me flip out and run and get Eli, they both started crying. Then Sam stepped in it. Oh, shit.

How do I clean this up?! How do I clean this kid up?!?! Well, thank Jesus I cloth diaper, because I threw that baby in the bathroom sink, turned on our diaper sprayer and sprayed him down. And used hand soap to wash him. (I earned Mom of the Year in more ways than one today) I rinsed his mouth out and prayed that he wouldn’t die of some disease after eating his own poop.

Sweet Jack helped me out and grabbed some towels and I threw down on the floor. At this point we were already 10 minutes late, so Mama T was getting flustered.

I left all the crap on the floor, and threw the kids in the car. Called Adam and explained the situation… I’m sure he loved getting a call from his wife at 5:00 after a long day and telling him not only did his son eat his own poop, but he had to clean it up when he got home.

Oh, the joys of parenting….!