Disclaimer: I debated writing this post over and over again. Although it’s my blog, and a place to record my memories of our life and kids, I don’t ever want them to read it and be hurt, embarrassed, or upset with me. My intention is merely to let them know what our life was like when they were little. I also don’t want to come across as being sad, or that I’m looking for a pat on the back for what we do. Anyway, here’s a little update on what’s been going on lately.
Life has been a little tough lately. It’s not having just having two toddlers and a newborn, although that obviously makes things a little tougher.
Jack has been talking up a storm lately (YAY!), but with that has come some extreme whininess (is that a word?)… I think because he is talking now, he is extra frustrated when I have no idea what he wants/says. Timeouts have become plentiful. However, they end with me explaining what he did wrong, asking him to say “sorry,” and then he giggles at me. Yep, timeouts aren’t really working. Plus, Sam starts to cry every single time I put Jack in a timeout, so I feel horrible.
Don’t get me wrong, Sam gets his fair share of timeouts too. Most of the time it’s for poking Eli’s eyes or hitting Jack for no reason.
Sam has been sick for about a week now. This is nothing new. Sam is probably sick 55% of his life. It’s awesome. A fever, cold, ear ache/infection, cough, the flu… it never stops.
Sam’s illnesses always cause him to vomit more. During meals and especially at night. He’s a great sleeper, except when he’s sick. Adam and I are up with him at least twice a night trying to calm him down and keep him from vomiting. We actually have a pile of towels we keep by his crib because he vomits so often at night when he’s sick. Bless his heart– Jack has never asked for attention when we attend to Sam at night, even though he wakes up every time. He just stares at his big brother with worry, and won’t go back to sleep until Sam is calmed down. When we were at home over Christmas, Sam was sick (weird) and had thrown up but didn’t cough or cry so we had no idea. Anyway, Jack starts crying and yelling “mama” so I run up there and instantly smell the puke. I calm Jack down, assuming he had puked, and couldn’t find anything. I look, and Sam is laying there with his eyes open sitting in puke. As soon as we cleaned Sam up, Jack went right back to sleep.
Obviously, all this sickness has made his eating worse. Combined with every kid’s super-fun toddler stages, he has started to hit, yell, scream and cry when we have him eat. I start to get super anxious about a half hour before every meal just knowing what’s to come. When Adam is home it’s not too bad because he can help me hold Sam’s arms (if needed), and distract Jack so he doesn’t add to the chaos.
Sam’s eating makes everything HARD. We have a schedule, and if I stray from it I will be tensed up for hours. When friends ask us to do something, I will freak out inside if it will interfere with Sam’s schedule. Being off means he might vomit more, he might not be hungry later, he might not eat solids…
Having a kid that doesn’t eat changes everything.
I can throw Jack a snack cup filled with Cheerios and he’s instantly happy. If I ask Sam if he wants a Cheerio, he runs away. If I put it up to his lips and ask him to just “kiss it,” he will gag.
He doesn’t self-feed or self-drink, so I can never just throw food on the table and say “dig in!” I’m so envious when I see my friends with their kids and they just eat away.
If we have an appointment that interferes with his schedule, I have to measure out his food, pack his tube, bring a syringe… Jack– give him a sippy of water and a snack.
Attempting to get Sam to eat in public is out of the question. A. I really don’t want to risk him vomiting, and B. Having to spoon-feed my 2-year-old sucks, and I don’t want to be hit in public.
He has also started to notice he’s “different” lately and it’s been devastating. He tugs down his shirt if it goes over his button, and constantly touches it. When I put his tube in before nap and/or bed, he whimpers.
I am so nervous for the day when Eli starts to eat solid foods–not just purees, but actual Cheerios, bits of fruit/veggies, etc. What will Sam think? Will he even care? I’m just hoping he will be there by that time too.
Physically, he’s doing awesome. He doesn’t climb furniture like Jack, but he’s probably more daring once he’s up there. Sam has also started to run, and it’s the cutest damn thing ever. He has also started to associate words with things, and not just parrot what we say. He will point at people/things when we ask him to, and he says about 5 words.
Things could be SO MUCH WORSE. Whenever Adam and I are stressed out, we just remind each other, “but he’s here.” We could have lost him, he could have gone blind, he could have had cerebral palsy, but he doesn’t. He’s our Sam, and he’s a freaking amazing kid.
Jack and Eli aren’t so bad either 😉
6 Comments Add yours
I am going to be real… YOU. ARE. AMAZING. I don’t know how you do it. And your honesty and story telling is even more amazing. Good job Momma!
Thanks Arielle! This made me tear up 🙂
Oh honey…you say the words that are in my head! Our kids are different ages, but I am constantly feeling outnumbered and overwhelmed. Somedays I think Parker will NEVER eat, but I have to remind myself that he has come so far. We have tough kiddos with tough parents!
Tonya, I’m so glad we met. It is something no one understands, and frankly, it’s something no one should HAVE to understand. Such a weird phenomenon, but hey, we have pretty cool kids. They just don’t love eating. Maybe they have it figured out? I thought that this morning while Jack was screaming for oatmeal and Eli was crying because he was hungry. Sam was just content playing. He probably thinks we’re the crazy ones! 🙂
The honest posts are usually the best posts.
Oh, and you are pretty amazing too. Don’t forget that.
Thanks Nikki 🙂