To say that we are blessed by the people in our lives is an understatement. After I posted about Claire on our blog and on Facebook, I received dozens of text messages, countless FB messages and comments, and calls from friends just checking to see how Adam and I were doing. Social media is powerful, and I am so grateful for the community I’ve already discovered and the relationships I’ve made in the Down syndrome world.
The feelings I have for social media are two-fold these days. It is incredibly difficult for me to see pictures of newborn babies and toddler girls, new moms who don’t know the heartbreak I’ve experienced, and people complaining about their children having colds/allergies.
My life as a special needs mom began 4.5 years ago. It’s never something I wanted– like all other newly pregnant women, I dreamed of my family-to-be. It was large (4 or 5 kids), had boys that looked just like Adam and girls that looked just like me. Our boys would be athletes, mama’s boys, and incredibly kind. Our girls would dance, play soccer, and marry one of the boys’ best friends.
But 4.5 years ago I found myself staring into the eyes of my newborn babies and realized the life I planned was changing. When Sam got sick, the agony over possibly losing a child overcame me. The fact that he wouldn’t be some great football player made me laugh– who cared?! This little boy was going to live, and that meant everything to me. We were told he probably wouldn’t walk, or talk, and again the life I dreamed about was pushed further away. It didn’t matter. Our boys were, and are, amazing.
Life doesn’t go as planned, and that’s okay. Claire is our daughter, and I know she is going to do some amazing things. Is she the daughter I expected? No. I still cry daily. But I love her fiercely, and am so ready to be her advocate, learn new things, and experience a world I never thought I would be a part of.