Our Mr. Sam is back in the hospital.
Yesterday, Adam and I made the hardest decision we’ve had to make since he came home. We decided he needed to be admitted to Children’s. His vomiting/not breathing issues were a huge reason, but also his eating has regressed even more and his soft spot has been feeling fuller.
The last time I cried that hard was the day he was vented and we found out he had Group B Strep. I couldn’t even bring him in; Adam brought him and stayed with him all day. Feeling like we failed as parents was the hardest thing. Obviously, we know we did the best we could, but it just got to a point where we couldn’t risk his safety because we wanted him home with us. Sam needs 24-hour care until we can be 100% positive he won’t aspirate or stop breathing and not revive himself.
Right now it’s one of two things – either his shunt is malfunctioning or he has severe, severe reflux. Either sucks. But are fixable.
Adam and I are both very, very private people and having people know what’s going on is a double-edged sword. But that’s what this blog is for… Letting people in on our daily struggles and successes.
We’re doing okay, but missing our little peanut an incredible amount. Visiting him in the hospital is just not the same. Seeing him there brings my PTSD front and center again. I hear the alarms going and want to throw up. We can’t get him out of there soon enough!